Words for Board: Commodus, Diocletian, Edict of Prices, Constantine, Constantinople, Huns -- Attila, Vandals

Back to the Roman Empire. Marcus Aurelius appointed his own son Commodus to be next emperor which was a mistake. He had instant enemies from those who wanted to keep on with adoptive succession. Even if he'd been a good guy, he wasn't going to make it very well. As it was, he was a thundering ass. When he was a little kid, he wanted to grow up and be a gladiator. So, when he grew up, he became a gladiator despite the fact that he was the emperor. He billed himself as the greatest left-handed sword and shield man. (Course you realize there weren't that many left-handed sword and shield men to begin with.) He dressed himself with a lion's head and looked like Hercules. He killed over 100 men in the arena. Sounds great, huh? But he kept the arena lined with Praetorian Guards in case things didn't go well. What a dolt. In 182, there was a plot to assassinate him. The Senate sent in an assassin with a dagger who said: "The Senate sends you this," stabbed at him and missed! How embarrassing!!! Commodus got the idea that he had enemies out there. So he started wiping out Senators. But one day his mistress found her name on his death list and she had him killed in 192. (Emperors ought to learn to keep their death lists a secret.)

After his death, there was a civil war between the generals. Septimius Severus was the commander of the Danube border troops which meant he had more men and won. He raised the salary of the army and fought the Parthians. Every emperor who won the job after him raised the army pay which was a mistake. Pretty soon the army caught on that if they killed off the current emperor, they got a pay raise. He left the empire to both his sons but one eventually killed the other. He wanted lots of money and gave some to his soldiers. The Roman army was deteriorating and costing more money all the time. The discipline was shot. Soon the son was assassinated. He was the first of 17 emperors in a row that were killed off. Things weren't going too well.

One of the weirdie generals that won the job later was Maximinus Thrax. He was 7 feet fall which was good back then cuz his arms were longer (now it's not good to be too tall in the army cuz you're a better target for bullets). He rose from private all the way to general in the army and as general won the job of emperor. He wasn't educated at all -- just a good soldier. That would have been impossible in the first century cuz the generals were supposed to be educated so they would know the history of Rome and how the government worked and stuff like that. But things are so rotten in Rome it's possible to rise though the ranks on army talent alone.

During one period of 15 years there were 10 different emperors. There was another plague in the 200's that killed off another 1/3 of the population. At one point there were 5,000 people dying a day in Rome. But this plague helped spread Christianity. Christianity thrives on plagues, problems and disasters. For some reason, of all the religions in the world, only the Jews and Christians seem to do better during disasters. The state religions were suppose to protect your state from disasters, etc. But Christians say that people were always at fault for the disaster, not the god. If the Christians were getting hit with something bad, obviously they weren't trying hard enough to please god. So they try harder. There's no way god can lose. God only caused the good stuff that happens, never the bad.

Aurelian was another emperor from 270-275. He constructed a new wall around the city of Rome. The last time walls were built around Rome for protection was during the time of Hannibal. But since then Rome had gotten so strong they didn't need the walls and besides the city had outgrown them. Aurelian built the walls cuz he didn't have much confidence in the frontier guard protecting Rome from barbarians leaking down across the Rhine.

Diocletian was emperor from 284-305. He temporarily stopped the downward slide. He was one of the few emperors to resign from his job. He tried to patch stuff up. He had to prevent his own assassination first. To do that he proclaimed himself a god -- not his genius, but himself. People were more willing to believe that in the 3rd century than the 1st. He split the empire in 2 for administrative purposes. He appointed a lesser god as the other emperor. Diocletian took the east and gave the west to his partner. Each of them then sub-divided their empire into ½ and gave the 2 parts to young officers to let them defend the borders. They adopted one of the officers to be next emperor and had a double adoptive succession going. Diocletian worked hard to keep the illusion of himself as a god. He surrounded himself with bodyguards who believed he was a god. It's much harder to kill your god than just a man. He never went out in public so nobody ever saw him. He kept an air of mystery. You had to be super important to make an appointment to see the emperor and you were kept waiting, etc. The illusion of divinity worked and he wasn't killed. He passed the Edict of Prices in 301. People were refusing to accept Roman money cuz it had been debased so much there wasn't hardly any silver in it anymore. People were returning to barter system which sure slowed down commerce. Diocletian made a list of goods, services, what they cost and was trying to make people accept Roman money for each. If it was disobeyed it meant death. Still, the Edict failed and the money didn't circulate. But he did bring stability to the state.

Constantine was emperor from 312-337. He was a general who seized the state. He was hard-headed and a religious visionary at the same time. He had dreams and visions, which will work for him in the 4th cent as far as the public is concerned. Christianity was becoming very popular. 10% of the population was following it and more than 10% of the people in the cities. That's cuz people in the cities catch on to fads quicker. (The word pagan means farmer cuz farmers were the last to get Christianity.) In the summer of 312, Constantine was pushing his army to seize Rome when he said he had a vision. He saw the god of the Christians who told him to sew crosses on the uniforms and paint them on the shields and he would win. It worked. In 313, Constantine legalized Christianity. Some historians put 313 as the Fall of the Roman Empire cuz Christianity was something that was so basically anti-Roman culture as was everything else going on at the time. Christianity was pushed under Constantine. People were following it to get things like government jobs, sell insurance policies etc. The number of Christians rose but the quality declined. There was tax exemption for Christians.

Constantine build a new capital city called (you'll never guess) Constantinople. It was the old Greek city of Byzantium on the Greek Hellespont (today it's Istanbul). He moved the capital from Rome to Constantinople cuz Italy and all the west was going down the tubes fast.

A new bunch of barbarians is coming. The Huns invade from Asia from where Mongolia is. Attila was their leader. They were nomadic horsemen. They were scaring the hell out of German barbarians. They attacked with horses. They ate horse meat and drank mare's milk. The Huns eventually settled in Hungary. The German said they had red eyes and bowed legs. The Goths were a bunch of barbarians on the northern Danube who were terrified of the Huns. They asked the eastern emperor of the day, Valens, to let them cross the Danube into Roman territory to escape the Huns. It was ok-ed but the Goths crossed at the wrong time of year to grow their own crops. Rome promised to give them food but corrupt officials stole the grain and the Goths were starving. They had 3 options: 1. starve 2. re-cross the Danube and face the Huns. 3. to pillage and loot throughout the Roman Empire. They chose #3 (sounds sensible to me.) Valens took the best army he had against the Goths and lost. That was the first time that Romans had lost on their own territory,. They lost their psychological edge and later barbarians knew it was possible to beat them. The eastern emperor told Attila the Hun to go west cuz it was easier to conquer in the West. There was a story of how Attila was besieging Rome when the pope of the day came out and asked him not to destroy the holy city of Rome. It was a big religious story which was supposed to show the power of the pope. But if that's true, how come it didn't work on later barbarians? Actually there was a contagious disease running through Attila's troops and the easiest way to fight disease was to disperse the troops and let the disease run its course. Attila died and the Huns broke up.

In 455, Rome was sacked by the Vandals. (Where we get the word vandalize.) The western emperor moved the capital to a swamp. The last emperor was a kid. In 476, the German general fired him. In the west, all city life stopped. There was no education. Barbarians wandered at will and settled wherever they wanted. The eastern empire still continued but it wasn't very Roman -- more Greek and Persian. It changed to the Byzantine Empire.